So you’ve fallen in love with someone outside the faith and you’re worried about what the parents are going to say. You may have wanted to fall for a fellow Jew, but life being what it is things don’t always work that way. Falling in love makes you blind with desire and lose perspective on the facts. It makes you feel totally alive and joyous. However this isn’t the best state of mind to make a decision. You’ll need to get to the facts if you’re going to have a sustainable relationship. So what’s a good Jew to do?

First off find out how religious your partner is. Even if they aren’t practicing now, they may want to raise their children according to their own religion. Religious issues have broken up many a relationship when the couple was already deeply involved with each other, so it’s better to discuss these things sooner rather than later.

One important aspect of any relationship is the ability to respect each other and that includes each other’s religious beliefs. You don’t have to agree or even convert, but you do have to respect each other’s opinions. Will your partner be willing to celebrate varying holidays with you even if it’s something they haven’t celebrated before? Or something that’s not part of their faith? If it’s important for you to celebrate Passover and Hanukkah, it has to be important to your partner as well.

Yes there is your family, many of whom may put pressure on you to celebrate all holidays with them. But as a grown adult, you have to decide what your own priorities are and how important those things are to you especially on different holidays that may occur at the same time. Set aside some time to get in touch with your own opinions, ideas, and feelings about religion, family, holidays, and raising children. Only then will you be able to talk to your partner and discuss a future with them.